Monday, November 11, 2013

My Drunk Dial To The Dallas Cowboys


Time of call: 12:44 am, November 11th, 2013


Hello? Hey…it’s me…The Beauty of Sports.
I’m just here on my couch having a few glasses of Moscato and thinking about you and about us.


I probably shouldn’t have called but…I have a few things to get off my chest. I guess I was just wondering, what happened?

I know you are hurting…Sean and the boyz got some injuries and that’s understood, but dang (sigh) I, I just don’t know. I feel empty, you know?

It’s not just about the Saints loss….(I had that down as a “L” anyway). It’s about me feeling I’m the only one that sees it! The only one that gets it. I feel I should be there with you during this time to talk to you and give you the information I think can help our relationship work..but you won’t tweet me back.

I just want it to go back to the way it was when we were riding high and it seemed like nothing could stop us.

It’s like everybody loves us together as a couple but we have sooooooo many haters that don’t want to see our relationship work out. I will never give them the luxury. I will always be here for you. Ride or die remember?!  BUT I need a break. A two week break to be exact.



YOU KNOW WHAT?!! SOMETIMES I WONDER IF YOU EVEN CARE!!! I MEAN, DO YOU? DO YOU EVEN CARE???? OR IS IT JUST ALLLLL ABOUT YOU?? HAVE YOU EVEN STOPPED TO THINK ABOUT HOW YOUR ACTIONS AFFECT US? DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT ME?!! SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I HATE YOU!!!


I’m sorry. (crying) I didn’t mean to yell. It’s just that, I miss what we had.
I’m just…I’m lost. I can’t believe you did what you did and I can’t believe who you did it with. The Saints? Those skanks? I’m just saying…I think you could do better.


Anyways, I want to know what we can do to make this right again. Or have you moved on, already? Yeah, I bet that’s what it is. You’ve moved on already.

YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU’RE SO FREAKIN SELFISH!!! SERIOUSLY! IF YOU CARED ABOUT ME, YOU WOULDN’T HAVE LET THINGS GET TO THIS POINT. YOU WOULD HAVE DONE WHATEVER IT TOOK TO MAKE IT WORK. YOU PUT ME ON THIS EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER AND YOU EXPECT ME TO JUST GET OVER IT? REALLY? JUST LIKE THAT?? I HATE YOU!!!!!


I don’t hate you. You know I don’t mean that. I’m just hurt.

I probably shouldn’t have called. I’m sorry I called.

(pours more wine)

Maybe this time apart will be good for us. Maybe once we think about what went wrong, we can figure out how to make it right. But only two weeks apart, okay? Maybe once the bye is over we can start fresh. I really think we can have what we had again.

Well, you were probably busy so I won’t keep you any longer. And I know you probably think I’m drunk but I’m not. I’m just emotional and having a hard time dealing with things.
So anyways, I’ll let you go.


Before I do…please say those four little words to me. I know it’s hard to say but I need to hear it.


Okay, I’ll go first…(Deep and heavy sigh)


“How Bout Them Cowboys”


Phew! Feels good to get that out.

Please don’t report this call. It violates my restraining order.

Click.