Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Guest Beauty: Love and Basketball

The first question I get, particularly from women, almost every time someone finds out I am dating a professional basketball player is “what is it like?” Most of the time, my response is positive because I don't want to degrade my man or his career in any way. However for the sake of any woman who may be reading this and would like a more realistic view on what it is really like to date an athlete, I will be brutally honest.

For the record, I love my boyfriend. We've been through a lot of ups and downs and no matter what his profession is, I will be there to support him 100%. I had to put that disclaimer out there because by the time you finish reading this you may think I totally hate him!

The first and most important thing you need to remember when dating an athlete is always remain true to your goals and career aspirations. The fact of the matter is the career of a professional athlete is filled with a lot of uncertainties. At any time a team could decide he is no longer a fit for their system and trade him to another team or simply cut him. Then he could find himself scrambling to find another job or entertaining an offer from a European team. As we saw with the lockout, playing overseas is a very realistic option for many professional basketball players who can't make it in the NBA. With this kind of uncertainty it's easy to get completely consumed in following him around thus losing yourself. Trust me when I say eventually, you will regret neglecting your own dreams.

Another thing to remember is trust is key to any successful relationship but especially when dating an athlete. Unfortunately with his profession, he will be subject to a lot of attention from the “ladies” (and I use that term very loosely). However if you worry yourself about what he's doing and when he's doing it then it will drive you and ultimately him crazy. Until he gives you a reason not to trust him then don't just assume because you've heard horror stories about how much athletes cheat.

Thirdly if you want to date an athlete just because you want a glamorous lifestyle, you would be better off getting a doctor or business man. As I stated earlier, the career of an athlete is very uncertain. According to theshorthorn.com fewer than 1% of college basketball players actually make it to the NBA. I know WAGs (wives and girlfriends) like Khloe Kardashian Odom, LaLa Anthony and Gabrielle Union make the life look enticing, but truth is, most players have to work their ass off just to keep a roster spot. There are very few superstars like Kobe and Lebron who, if they never bounced another ball a day in their life would be financially set along with their families. There are hundreds of thousands of young guys looking to get an NBA contract and with the new CBA, teams are being even more careful about the guys they shell out long term contracts to in an effort to stop wasting money. Not to mention there is always the possibility of a career ending injury every time a player steps out on the court for a game. I can't speak for anyone else but that uncertainty is not worth it if I don't truly love him.

Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of perks to dating an athlete. The flexibility of his schedule allows us to spend a lot of time together and not to mention getting to travel to different cities and countries. However there are a lot of things you have to deal with that you wouldn't otherwise with a guy who is not an athlete. My advice? Don't choose him solely because of his profession because its not worth it. At the end of the day a healthy and lasting relationship will have nothing to do with his job and everything to do with the love the two of you share.

Submitted by: "Incognesha" aka Anonymous


Wright said...

You should sned this to all ladies who's only ambition in life is to marry a professional athlete. Good post. Is she stil with him?

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm.....reeeaalllyy? (wonders who "incognesha" is)

Stacy said...

I saw something on facebook the other day and would like to share with Incognesha..."never lose yourself trying to find him"

Anonymous said...

"The fact of the matter is the career of a professional athlete is filled with a lot of uncertainties"....one injury away.

Anonymous said...

I'd rather have a man with a 9-5. Most athletes don't know what to do with themselves after their career is over.