Friday, February 3, 2012

Chicktionary: Super Bowl Edition

So you’re not a football fanatic. For 364 days of the year (or in a leap year, 365 days) that’s fine, but on Super Bowl Sunday, the “McMuffin” of all sports days, it’s definitely a problem.
But don’t be discouraged. You’re not alone. An estimated 40 percent of all those who will be watching the Super Bowl aren’t really football fans. They, like you, just want to be a part of the party and also…..impress that guy :-) .

Let’s start with the bare minimum. You have to know who’s playing! New England Patriots(NE) versus New York Giants (NY). The game is being played in Indianapolis. This is Super Bowl 46. Let's get started.

Just in case you want to name drop…..

Key Players:

NE Offense
Tom Brady-Quarterback
Wes Welker- Wide Receiver
Benjarvus Green-Ellis- Running Back
Rob Gronkowski- Tight End

NE Defense:
Vince Wilfork- Defensive Tackle
Jerod Mayo-Linebacker

NY Offense
Eli Manning- Quarterback
Victor Cruz- Wide Receiver
Ahmad Bradshaw- Running Back

NY Defense
Osi Umenyiora- defensive end (and pure eye candy)
Jason Pierre Paul- defensive end
Justin Tuck- defensive end (chocolaty eye candy)
Now for some basic terminology that, based on the two teams playing, may be used a lot.

  1. Offense: The team with the ball
  2. Audible: A play called by the quarterback at the line of scrimmage that changes the play called in the huddle.
  3. Play action: When a quarterback fakes that he is going to hand the ball off to a running back and instead throws a pass.
  4. Tight end: No this is not the back side of #22!  These are the large men who play outside the tackles. A cross between a receiver and a lineman, they sometimes block for the running back  and catch passes. (NE:Rob Gronkowski, NY:Jake Ballard)
  5. Wideout: Another name for a wide receiver. His primary job is to catch passes from the quarterback  (NE:Wes Welker, NY:Victor Cruz)
  6. Shotgun formation: When the quarterback does not take the ball directly from the hands of the center, but instead stands several feet behind him when the ball is hiked.
  7. No Huddle (or Hurry-Up) Offense:  allows the offense to deny the defending team time to substitute players and communicate effectively between coaches and players. When operating in the no-huddle, the offense typically lines up in a predetermined formation at scrimmage, possibly with a predetermined play in mind. Tom Brady and Co. employs this technique often and effectively.
  8. Down: The offense has  4 “downs” or attempts to advance up the playing field. A team must advance at least 10 yards in order to keep possession of the ball. At that time the downs will restart.
  9. Red Zone: When the offense gets within 20 yards of the opponent’s end zone, they are said to be in the “red zone.” This is the area where the offense is most likely to score points.
  10. Pocket: The area behind the offensive line where the quarterback is protected by his blockers
  11. Defense: The guys trying stop the offense from scoring
  12. Blitz: When five or more defensive players rush the quarterback. The object of a blitz is to hit the quarterback, or at least interfere with his attempt to pass
  13. Sack: When a defensive player tackles the quarterback behind the line of scrimmage for a loss of yardage
  14. Linebacker: The defensive players who usually stand behind the lineman. The middle linebacker is like the quarterback of the defense and must be able to stop rushers who get beyond the line of scrimmage, defend short passes and run at the quarterback during a blitz. (NE: Brandon Spikes, NY: Mathias Kiwanuaka)
  15. Safety: There are 2 types of “safeties”. 1. A play in which the ball carrier is tackled in his own end zone; two points are credited to the defensive team; 2. one of the two defensive players who cover the wide receivers on long pass plays (NE: Sergio Brown, NY: A. Rolle)
  16. Secondary: The four players -- the two safeties and two cornerbacks -- who make up a team's defensive backfield.
  17. Defensive holding: One of the most common penalties. Defensive holding includes holding the jersey of an offensive player or extending an arm to cut off his forward progress. then it is a five yard penalty and an automatic first down.
  18. Pass interference: When a defender, usually a cornerback or safety, but also a linebacker, hinders a receiver when he is more than five yards beyond the line of scrimmage, by making contact with the receiver before the ball reaches him
  19. Off-sides: For a player to be over the line of scrimmage before the ball is put in play.
  20. Special Teams: One of several squads of players used by a team on punts, field-goal attempts, kickoffs, and In returning punts and kickoffs.
  21. Quarter: One of four equal periods of playing time in which games are divided. A standard football game consists of four 15-minute quarters
Now practice using these words in a sentence. If you need more help, go read my How to Fake A Sportsgasm post. Good luck! Go get em Beauty!

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