Friday, March 23, 2012

Dear Mr. Kardashian,

Ok. After my last letter I thought I had gotten through to you. I tried to give you a chance. I didn’t want to be the ultimate naysayer….but now I must react. I’m fairly disappointed in you. Maybe it’s my fault for setting my expectations so high. I mean…..what was I thinking?!  However, at this point my expectations or zilch ,zero, nothing. This is my defense mechanism so that when you do nothing……I can say I expected nothing anyway.
So  I wasn’t surprised when you produced a quadruple-uno versus the Lakers on Wednesday. That’s 1 more point, rebound, assist, and steal than I had. Your effort was lackluster even by the low standards you have established this season.
You were named the NBA’s Sixth Man of the Year just ten months ago and now you give my Mavs the worst season of your career, averaging 7.2 points and 4.4 rebounds while shooting 35.1 percent, scoring in double figures only nine times in 41 games! SMH. I’m starting to question your commitment, your interest, your focus, your….everything. Perhaps the pressure of filming a reality television series has attributed to your problems on the basketball court.…..I don’t think you are happy. Whatever you’re going through off-the-court, you probably won't be with the team next season, so for now, everyone needs to just focus on getting through the year and not pointing fingers.
I understand, it’s been tough for you since you arrived from L.A. with the way things went down and all but I will warn you… It’ll get even tougher if you don’t get it together!
So I’ll make you a deal…..any teammate of Dirk is a teammate of mine. We fam. So what can The B.O.S do to help? I have a team of beauties on call. We want to make you feel at home so that our team can get back on track!
We can get some local celebs to sit on the sidelines like the Dallas Cowboys, Rangers, Erykah Badu, TD Jakes, some party promoters (lol). It’ll give you that Hollywood vibe, yes?
We can leak stories about where you and wifey are going to be performing some community service and get pics of you both holding babies. The public plays well with stories like that. Would kinda take away the feel that the Kardashians are all about themselves.
And if all else fails, we can hold a fundraiser and help Mark buy you out your contract.
What’s your pleasure?
Much love,
The B.O.S

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